Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
