There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
