You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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