it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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