okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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