so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Two words: nipple clamps
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