Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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