What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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