the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
only if we run a train.
done.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
