he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
