Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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