Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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