Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
