she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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