You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
