Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Buhtt sex?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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