you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
should my penis look like a turkey
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
