My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
