I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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