I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
