Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
