WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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