I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Michael Bay diarrhea
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
