Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize