Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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