I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
