I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
