Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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