I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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