I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
