Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
