i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
