So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
