so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
