I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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