Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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