a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
