UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
