Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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