Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
