Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize