It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
