Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
