so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
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For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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