forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
