Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
