guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
