hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
