Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
