I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
