I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i think im in europe. pls send help
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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