He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
