Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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