I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
