I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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