it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
