I wanna passion pit in your ass
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
