Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
