He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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