Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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