absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
