there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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