i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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