my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This baby is an asshole
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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