I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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