I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
