i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
