My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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