so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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